My daughter read the 1932 Pulitzer Prize winning novel The Good Earth for her world history class. I decided to read it also, since it was one of those books I had always wanted to read. The engaging story is set in rural China in the 1800s. Although there are many cultural differences between East and West, wealth’s influence on human nature transcends time and culture.

Pearl S. Buck paints a vivid picture of two generations. The father is a hard-working farmer who accumulates wealth by his sacrifices and his respect for the land. He attains a high status in his village and uses his wealth to provide for others. He also indulges his sons with material possessions and the education he never had. He doesn’t want them to be farmers, like him, but to have a “better life.” In his old age the farmer sees how his sons have none of the qualities that enabled him to become wealthy, such as a strong work ethic, an ability to delay gratification, and frugality. His sons plot to sell the farmland to keep up their standard of living, unaware they are selling the source of their wealth. The father realizes, too late, that his sons would be better off had they been farmers.

Where do you fit in this generational picture? Are you the father, indulging your children? Or, are you more like the sons? Your parents provided you with material possessions and wanted you to have more than they had as children. You were never taught to delay gratification or how to manage your money.

How are you raising your children? Will they have a strong work ethic and value frugality? Will they be content with what they have? Will they be thankful for what they have?

When you’re browsing at a bookstore, don’t you tend to look at the stuff that agrees with you? You already have your mind made up. You know where you stand on an issue. You know that you need to do your part on global warming, so you gravitate toward books such as Good Green Homes and You Can Prevent Global Warming (and Save Money): 51 Easy Ways. If you see a book titled Climate Confusion: How Global Warming Hysteria Leads to Bad Science, you bypass it.

You know that buying a home is a smart idea. So if you see the book Who Says You Can’t Buy a Home!: How to Put Credit Problems, Down Payment Challenges, and Income Issues Behind You, you grab it. You’re not going to read a book that tells you to save up for a down payment first, or wait until your income is higher. Why? Because that’s not what you want to hear.

Psychologists call this tendency to seek information that agrees with us confirmatory bias. When we ask for advice we are biased toward sources that “confirm” what we “know.” Is this the best way to make decisions? Probably not. We should seek out people who have the opposite view, and evaluate their thinking. If you can’t find fault with their position, perhaps you don’t “know” as much as you think.

One of the hardest things to do is to change our minds about what we “know.” Part of this is our reluctance to admit being wrong, and part is the difficulty of breaking habits. I would even say the more certain you are of a position, the more “everyone” agrees with you, the more you need to seek opposing views. If you can understand and refute the opposing view, you can have confidence in your decision.

I enjoy reading about investing in mutual funds, about not using credit cards, and about following a budget. These are all issues I “know.” Next time I’m reading blogs, I’ll pick some that discuss investing in things other than mutual funds, or sites that favor credit cards. (I’ll need to hunt for them, they sure aren’t in my Favorites.) Or maybe I’ll read some books by authors I’m not familiar with. After all, how many times can I read those Ben Stein books. I think I can learn more about myself by listening to people who disagree with me.

Anyone disagree with this? I’m ready to listen.

This is the last post about elephants. Probably. I’ve been writing about Dave Ramsey’s tips for saving money on big purchases. You get to decide what’s “big.” In my mind, big is anything over $100.00. For you it might be more or less than that. In case you’ve forgotten, here they are:

1. Wait before making a purchase.
2. Consider your motive for buying.
3. Never buy anything you do not understand.
4. Consider the opportunity cost of your money.
5. Seek counsel before buying.

Today we finish up the list with number 5: seek counsel. If you’re married, this is very, very, very important. Ask your wife/hubby for an opinion. This list isn’t in a particular order. Asking your spouse might be the first or second thing you do. If you’re not married, and respect your parents’ opinion, you might seek their counsel. Maybe they never told you they had an elephant once, and it turned out to be a disaster. Or, if you’re older, and you did a good job raising level-headed children who are now grown, ask for their opinion. But be ready for the mid-life crisis lecture. “What! At your age! Why in the world do you want an elephant? Don’t you know how dangerous they are.”

Your wife/husband’s is the opinion that really matters, because they have to live with your purchase, too. “Honey, we just put in all that landscaping. And did you forget the kids are allergic to peanuts?” If your spouse wants to put on the brakes– slow down. If you ask for their opinion, be willing to listen and hear them out. Hopefully, what you’ll hear is, “That’s a great idea, I’ve always wanted an elephant. How about we get two?”

“Television came along and took away our

imagination” –Robert Altman

This week is National TV Turn-Off Week. It’s actually Screen-Time Turn-Off Week. For most folks, turning off the TV isn’t that big a deal, you can watch YouTube and play video games. Hence, the idea to turn off all screens. The average American spends 4 hours 35 minutes a day watching televison.

What can you do instead? Read (something other than this), exercise, walk the dog, talk to kids, cook something healthy. Work on your finances (and don’t use Quicken). You get the idea.